Being Single on Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to Suck

For Valentine’s Day of the past two years, a small group of single men from the non-profit I co-founded, CityFam, made dinner for the single ladies on our leadership team to show them how much we cared about and valued them. We sent them a special invitation to enjoy a three course home-cooked dinner with wine (or Kava for the non-drinkers), chocolates, desserts, entertainment, roses, and a guaranteed time of feeling loved! We truly made it a night to remember!

We did this because we wanted to make these women feel special instead of sad that they currently weren’t in a relationship. And from the smiles on their faces and their words of gratitude afterwards; we succeeded. Not only did they have a great time and feel loved; but us guys enjoyed the evening too.

As one female friend messaged, “Can’t even describe how super special it was for me and made my first group v-date a win!”

It’s funny, if you were to look at my present situation; you may think that Valentine’s Day would really suck for me. I’m single, I’m currently abstaining from sex, and I’ve been sober for the past several years. I’m probably the last person most would say would look forward to a holiday that’s all about couples going out ‘wining and dining’.

Not only was I looking forward to it; but I had one of the best Valentine’s Days I can remember. Why? Because of the community of people that I’ve surrounded myself with.

I love spending time with them and they make it more tolerable to make all the right decisions and they make all the struggles of this world more bearable to go through. That’s what community was intended to do.

All of us want to become the best version of ourselves. All of us want to hit our full potential. All of us want the things that we want most in life, right? But you just don’t get to that place without a series of right decisions over a long period of time; and without community. You can’t do it alone.

Take last night for example, let’s play that out.

Being single, especially on Valentine’s Day can be a lonely and depressing prospect. How long will someone stay lonely and depressed before they do something about it? Probably not as long as someone that has a healthy group of friends to do things with that can keep them from being lonely and depressed.

When you are lonely, you are going to be a little bit more desperate; and a lot more likely to settle for something less than what you really want or need — just to make the pain go away.

Eventually, you’ll get on that dating app and be a hell of a lot more likely to just pick somebody — anybody — so that you don’t have to sit home alone another night binge watching House of Cards. Community raises your standards.

I go to a Boot Camp at 5:45am a few times a week. It sucks. I honestly hate getting up at the ass crack of dawn and gasping for air for the better part of an hour. Of course I do it for the results; but the only thing that makes it more tolerable and keeps me coming back is that I know that my friends are going to be there and that we are going to do it together. They are my accountability partners. And if I skip a day; they will be calling me out on Social Media…lol!

Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to make decisions that won’t always be fun; that won’t always feel good and that may be difficult in the moment. You will only be able to make that series of right decisions for the long term when you are with another group of people that support you, encourage you, and help you do it. Again, you just can’t do it alone. You might do it for a little while; but you’ll never get to your goal by yourself.

There’s a saying that goes “It’s not where you are; it’s who you are with.”

As humans we are meant to “do life together”.

So, whether you have one Valentine’s Day date or a dozen like me; the way to get everything you want most in life is to surround yourself with the right people.

Then, not only will it be possible; the process actually becomes more enjoyable!

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Join 3,600+ people waiting for REAL love in the Waiting Works Community on Facebook (100% free) where we encourage and support each other to hit the mark in life and love 🎯.

If you are looking for a like-minded tribe of people to do life with as you become the best version of yourself, join the CityFam Community too.

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