I’ve gotten several requests recently to put out more content for teens, and this piece will be good for women of all ages. I have so many of my single girlfriends that have asked me, “how can I tell if a guy really likes me?” The answer is simple, and this is what I would tell my sisters and my daughter if I had one… don’t have sex with them. If they stick around, they like you, if they leave or keep pressuring you for sex, that is what they are after. This is because, by the very nature of our biology, men and women have different and often opposing sexual agendas, and here they are: women want security and men want sex. Please don’t kill the messenger and be open-minded enough to test out this theory. Obviously, there is much more that men and women bring to the table, and there are exceptions to every rule. But, at our core men and women have different relational wants and needs and you need to understand this if you want to increase your chances of finding true love. I know today people like to pretend like both sexes are the same. While we are equal, we are not the same.
Let me illustrate: If a woman were to lie about how many sexual partners she has had would it be less or more? Less, right? If a man were to lie about how many sexual partners he had, is it less or more? More, right? There’s a reason for that. There’s also a reason they say Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, and we all know who is selling what to whom. Trust me; women don’t have to pay for sex. They can get it anytime they want. Any woman, even unattractive women, can have sex anytime they choose. Men do not have that option. Think about it, coming into a relationship 99 times out of 100 the woman says when they have sex. Most guys will take it as fast as a woman will give it.
There’s a reason women wear makeup and high heels and shave their legs. There’s also a reason it is typical for men to pick up the tab on a date, hold open doors, and ask a woman to marry him. It might sound old-fashioned, but there is an undeniable truth here, and when you understand it, it will give you some clues as to how to approach dating.
One of the main reasons I am telling you the easiest way to find out if a guy really likes you is to not have sex with him is because men can have sex without emotion far easier than a woman, so the fact that he wants to sleep with you doesn’t necessarily mean that he really likes you, he might just want to sleep with you; and men will say and do just about anything to have sex without committing. Men who aren’t committed to waiting will be charming, funny, spend money, be the perfect gentleman, take you on trips, even lie and manipulate, ANYTHING to have their way and get unrestricted sex. The worst part is, we might even mean the things we say when we say them. But when a woman has sex before a commitment (and when I say the word commitment I mean real commitment which is marriage), she gives her power away to someone who hasn’t been clear about his intentions.
And having sex before marriage will usually end in one of two ways:
1) The woman will get attached; but then the man will get cold feet and bounce, resulting in hurt feelings and a broken relationship.
Ladies, how often have you slept with a man that seemed into you before having sex; only to see him become distant after getting intimate? Right.
2) The other thing that happens too often (and this may be worse) is the new couple will continue to date and sleep together, and unless they got EXTREMELY lucky (on the level of someone that hit the lottery), they find themselves in a relationship with less than their ideal person. The sex connects them and instead of being in a relationship with the love of your life, you will have a guy who’s one foot in and one foot out, and neither one of you will be truly fulfilled long-term. Then you live not-so-happily ever after wasting years of your life — sometimes, wasting your whole life with the wrong person!
One of the major problems today is that women are making it too easy on men, and they are giving sex without getting security (marriage) first. How many times have you seen women in physical relationships waiting for the commitment saying things like “Girl I don’t know when he’s going to propose.” Well ladies, I’m sorry to tell you, but if you’re having sex with him, he’s probably not in any rush. He’s not motivated!
Men will jump from woman to woman never committing if women let them. Because commitment means responsibility, and if we can get the same benefits with none of the work required, we will.
In my past life, if the women I dated had asked me to wait to have sex with them until we were married, this strategy would have absolutely worked on me, without question. Would I have waited to have sex with them and married them? Absolutely not. The reason it would have benefited them (and me) is that it would have weeded me out. Nothing weeds out a joker faster than not having sex with them. So it’s important women pay attention to what men say and do. Sex is not love. Pay attention to words ladies, but most importantly pay attention to actions.
So ladies, this is how you know if a man REALLY likes you, HE WILL COMMIT. If he’s not willing to, it begs the question WHY NOT?
Pick up my book Why Waiting Works, it’s the most practical book ever written on sex. In it I shed some light on a very misunderstood but vital to understand subject, in the hope of helping as many people as possible find true love and a life they’ve always dreamed of.
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