Rethinking Monogamy: Exploring the Forgotten Wisdom of Polygyny

Rob Kowalski
4 min readNov 20, 2023

In the world of relationships and love, we often hold steadfast beliefs and ideas that shape the way we navigate our romantic lives. One such belief that many of us have held dear is the idea that monogamy is the only acceptable relationship structure approved by God. But what if we told you that there’s more to this story, a perspective that challenges this age-old notion? What if we explored the idea that God might actually support a different approach to love and relationships, one that involves having as many beautiful wives as one can provide for and lead well? In this blog, I invite you to open your mind to the concept of polygyny and consider whether it holds the key to becoming a true man of God.

Before we get into it, To be convinced, not by me, but by scripture that Polygyny is approved of by God, watch or listen to Ep 88 of my podcast, Kowalski Analysis entitled Investigating Polygamy: A Biblical Perspective with Berean Patriot

Have you ever wondered why some of the greatest men in the Bible had multiple wives? Names like Abraham, Moses, Caleb, David, Solomon, and Gideon come to mind. The prevalence of polygyny in biblical times is undeniable, and it challenges the conventional narrative we’ve been taught. Perhaps, this raises an essential question: Have we been told a lie to dismantle patriarchy within our homes, a lie that discourages men from protecting and providing for multiple women under one roof?

It’s crucial to understand the potential reasons behind this shift in societal norms. The powers that be, the hidden hands influencing our beliefs and customs, may have their own agenda. They might desire a society where men no longer feel like kings in their homes, which, in turn, could make them easier to control. But what’s so wrong about a society full of men who feel and act like kings, who, by providing for and protecting multiple women, create an environment of abundance and unity?

The hidden agenda may stem from a fear of what a true man of God represents, someone who leads a household with love, strength, and multiple wives. Instead, they seem to want men locked in sexless marriages or trapped in the turmoil of divorce courts, feeling defeated and powerless. This often happens when a man’s only wife loses respect for him and her desire to compete for his attention and affection.

God’s Wisdom:

But if we pause and ask ourselves why God would allow polygyny, the answers are manifold. At the top of the list is the preservation of men in their homes. When men are present and actively involved in their households, society benefits. Fatherless homes often lead to negative outcomes, such as the staggering statistic that 85% of incarcerated individuals come from fatherless homes, not single-parent households, fatherless homes.

God’s Insight:

It’s possible that God foresaw the importance of keeping men in their homes, as this was paramount for building strong and thriving societies. But if monogamy is so great, why does the divorce rate stand at 56%? Why do so many women end up marrying men who lack godliness and fail to be priests of their homes? The answer lies in the shortage of good, Godly men. More men end up incarcerated, homeless, die at younger ages, or are just plain selfish, creating an imbalance where there are more marriageable women than marriageable men.

Conclusion:

In reevaluating the ancient wisdom of polygyny and questioning the long-standing beliefs surrounding monogamy, you may uncover a deeper understanding of what it means to be a true man of God. Embracing multiple wives as a path to abundance, unity, and strong families is one of the master keys to building great societies and restoring the divine role of men in the home. Open the Word and go to God in prayer about this, acknowledging that there might be more to the story of love and relationships than we’ve been taught.

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Rob Kowalski

Jesus follower, Author, Unplugged Christian Alphas Founder