Shocking the Dating Pool: The Unconventional Case for Polygamy

Rob Kowalski
4 min readNov 2, 2023

Today I’m diving into a hot topic that’s often overlooked and rarely discussed: biblical polygamy or polygyny (a man having multiple wives) to be exact. Yeah, I know, it’s a bit of a curveball, but let’s explore why this practice might make more sense than you’d think.

First off, polygyny isn’t as crazy as it sounds. In fact, it has some legit advantages over traditional monogamy, like economic, social, and health benefits. Let’s break it down:

1. No Bible Banning: I have to start here for all the Christians like myself who might read this. The Bible doesn’t drop any direct disapproval of plural marriage. In fact, nowhere within the sacred scriptures is Christian plural marriage criminalized, punished, or even spoken against! Seriously, there are tons of things the Bible explicitly forbids, but polygyny ain’t one of ’em. It’s like God gave a thumbs-up through His silence. People tend to think that Adam and Eve set the standard for marriage forever. But the Bible was written by Jews and for Jews and they didn’t even believe that or practice it. So, yeah, you can be a Christian who’s into polygyny and still be in obedience to God.

2. More Kids: God told us to “be fruitful and multiply.” Polygyny can help with that because men can father more offspring by partnering with multiple women. Plus, it ensures their kids inherit some quality genes because more women are mating with the “Alphas”.

3. Fixing the Gender Gap: In just about every church in the world, there are more women who want to be married than men. Polygyny can balance that out, giving women more chances to find a partner. Plus, it’s financially savvy; women can share the load of housework and child-rearing, which makes life easier for everyone involved.

4. Boosting Men’s Confidence: Men taking more than one wife can fulfill more of their desires, flex some social status, and generally feel good about themselves. It’s a win-win!

5. Animal Instincts: Even in the animal kingdom, only a small percentage of species are monogamous (3–5%). We might be able to learn a thing or two from nature.

6. Hypergamy in Action: Women are often attracted to men who match or exceed their education and earnings. As more women outperform men academically and financially, the dating pool shrinks. Currently, it’s an 80/20 situation where 80% of the women are sleeping with 20% of the men; some say it’s more like 95/5! So in spite of what a woman might tell you, the single ones who are sexually active (the majority by far of women), are already doing this! It’s just really scummy because the men in most cases have to be deceptive and have zero responsibility for the women they are sleeping with.

Now, let’s talk about some real-world issues.

7. Numbers Don’t Lie: Single moms, mistresses, fornication, divorce, and lonely women — these problems are all too common today. Polygyny could offer a solution. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, and no one would force anyone who didn’t want to participate, but it could definitely help address these challenges. Why would our society make this illegal when you can legally have as many children with as many women as you want without a commitment of marriage… why in the world is it illegal to commit to them??? Can anyone explain how in the hell that makes sense?

8. The Sexual Revolution: Some might say this setup is not ideal for women, but you can thank feminism and the sexual revolution for that. One of the most valuable things a woman brings to a relationship is her chastity. Asking men to commit to women who haven’t been waiting or have been with multiple partners isn’t realistic. When you let everyone ride the rollercoaster for free, men stop seeing the need to pay for the whole amusement park (i.e., marriage). I know it’s an old saying but it still rings true, who wants to buy the cow when everyone’s been milking it for free?

9. Making Marriage Great Again: With polygyny, marriage becomes more attractive to men. If a man knows before marrying that he can have more wives, that’s a game-changer. Men are unlikely to surrender their single opportunity, their one golden ticket for love and joy with just one woman, especially if they believe they might find another woman they find desirable down the road. This again is why I point to the record low numbers of marriages in my last blog on here about this subject.

So, in a world where the dating pool is more like a cesspool, maybe it’s time to shock it so we can all swim again. Polygyny could be the exact thing we need to get things back on track.

I get it, this might ruffle some feathers, but I firmly believe polygyny is the answer we’ve been looking for to address some of the many challenges we face today specifically in relationships and marriage.

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Rob Kowalski

Jesus follower, Author, Unplugged Christian Alphas Founder